wed-nes-day

wow. so wednesday was a bangin day . lol I am convinced that i had an epiphany yesterday.  i woke up in a good mood, and read my horoscope and good turned into ecstatic.    i am trying to excersie my pacience at the moment.  i attempted to register for my classes but guess what, the damn server is down, ugh so annoying.   i hate using computers, i am only noticing solutions,& they include the "annoyed" face and sarcastic attitude.  becausei am getting nothing done !
my true reason for composing this post is to elaborate on my feeling on Wednesday.  i have been through many traumas physically and mentally , and i allowed these instances to form and sculpture my strength , beauty , and intellect.  i would not say i did a horrible job, i had my share of dirt, lol whatever everyone does.  but, my main reason for having such a perfect day was because for once in my life , i have felt like i completly know what i want to do, what i need to do , and what i should think about doing next.  in 2008 , i met this obnoxiously loud , annoying man, he was a show off in my eyes, who does he think he is? he allowed his eyes to wander in all of the sinful pleasures of my psyche .  lust seemed to travel extremely fast in those eyes, they read curiosity, and my realization of this curiosity that consumed this old soul was fascinating to me.  someone was seriously interested in me , and i was not relaying the same emotions. 



i made the decision to keep this old soul around because i felt the pureness of attraction  touch my collar bone and lightly kiss it.  it was an obvious illustraion that depicted a man who was determined to get what he wanted, when he needed , even what he lusted for.  for 2 & a half years, i kept my beloved friend at arms length, because although i was playing games with him and my feelings, i knew that my heart and mind would be safe and would benefit from positive and negitve interactions with this old soul.  he never left me, he never stopped chasing me , and never gave up on me, on us.  in his heart, the beats escalated at the sight of passsion , my long hair, my long legs these curves that will drive you right off the road, and a mind that no one has ever discovered  or cared to discover or even tried to appreciate.  all of these characteristics were rapidly pacing between those 2 ears, and i allowed, my features allowed,  the bubbling of emotions to seep through this old soul body.  eyes are the doors to the soul, his eyes were beautiful :), i soon could not stop staring.   

his lack of carelessness was the reason he choose to stay around for so long.  i had given out a clue to him that opened his heart mind and soul.  i let him into my thoughts and my mind and my body once, and he read that, he felt that , and he knew that i possessed the qualities of a woman that he wanted to share his life with.  i did not realize what i was exactly missing out on, because for 2 long years, where self destruction found a home, i decided to be a stubborn little bitch about everything .  my heart was getting broken , and scattered around marble tiled living room floors , as if it was made out of glass.  it was too hard to bend down and pick up all the pieces, and that is when i started to lose a little bit of myself. 

i changed my mind about certain thoughts, and i kicked a lot of wasteful personalities out of my life, because they were not helping me at all.  this man that i am talking about is by far the best man who will ever cross my path.  he loves me , and i love him back, he cares about me and i care for him also.  his name is  bill, and he is my Virgo king :). he make me happy when i am sad , he appreciates the 360 that i did with my mind, and also is attracted to my knowledge. he is my twin , my exact copy, or the other way around , whichever , u get what i mean. i have never felt so complete in my life with this new old soul.  everything seems to be going in the right direction , and everyday i am anxious and even more excited than the last , to see him to kiss him to spend my life with him.  i am soooo grateful to be this happy with bill. he means so much to me and he deserves more than this recognition through a blog, but i tell him everyday how happy i am to have him in my life.  and i would love to be with him forever. hes my king - and my horrible journeys in life altered my thoughts and judgments of such a kind man.  but i gave him the permission slip to my cold desperate lost, but found , heart.  it beats to the sound of 1000000 drums and my deep dark pomegranate red blood flows through my body everyday with thanks to the never ending expressions of love given to me at no expense.  i am so happy , and i wish one day that everyone could be so lucky to experience something as perfect as i luckily have.